Bakezula
by coolman3
Summary: Frylock and Shake enter in a bakeoff at the mall. Meanwhile, Meatwad eggs them both on so he can declare parts of the house his own country and also Carl orders in pizza. To make a point.


Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Bakezula

(Cold opening. Meatwad is watching TV as Shake walks in.)

Shake: Have you seen Frylock?

Meatwad: Uh……no.

Shake: Because I just woke up, and I see no breakfast on the tip of broad shoulders and…………FRYLOCK WILL SOON SEE THE TIP OF MY BROAD ANGER!

Meatwad: Whoa………calm down now.

Shake: Don't you tell me to calm down! I haven't had any breakfast and someone's going to make it!

Meatwad: Watch this show, this some good (BLEEP)!

Puppet: (on TV) Everyone dies because I say they will.

(Puppet spontaneously combusts.)

Meatwad: I would've never guessed!

Shake: SHUT UP!

Meatwad: No, how about you shut up!

Shake: Yeah, stop wasting my time I could be doing something actually useful……for me, by getting my breakfast…..from Frylock.

(Opening credits. Cut to Frylock making pizza pies in his room when Shake hobbles in.)

Shake: Oh Frylock……..you should've had.

Frylock: Should've had what?

Shake: Don't play dumb with me, you made this pizza pies for my breakfast when all along I thought you didn't make me breakfast.

Frylock: This isn't your breakfast Shake; it's for a contest…..

Shake: WHAT!

(Shake grabs a baseball and hits and destroys Frylock's computer.)

Frylock: THAT'S MY COMPUTER! That's coming out of your money, Shake.

Shake: GIVE ME THOSE PIZZA PIES!

Frylock: No, these are for a Food Bake-Off at the Powerpuff Mall this Saturday, I never lose with these babies.

Shake: Now you're calling them your babies! What, I hear no crying, but the sound I want to hear right now is me munching on something!

Frylock: Go make your own breakfast!

Shake: Okay, I will and when I will it'll kick ass, in fact that's what I'm going to call it……."kick ass" name of my breakfast, don't steal it because it's copyrighted.

(Shake hobbles out the room. Cut to the kitchen as Shake goes to the oven and opens it up and throws pizza crusts, grass, a baseball bat, oatmeal and car oil from a pan and turns the knob to 100 degrees and closes it as Meatwad slides in.)

Meatwad: What you doing boy?

Shake: Making my own breakfast because Frylock thinks his so big with his "pieces of crap" pies.

Meatwad: Could you whip up something for me, I'm starving.

Shake: How about no. This is my breakfast; make your own damn breakfast!

Meatwad: Oh yeah I forgot, you're a total ass.

Shake: Shut up.

(Shake faces the oven as Meatwad slides closer.)

Meatwad: Is that a baseball bat in the there?

Shake: No, it's your mother.

(Silence.)

Meatwad: So, so……so a baseball bat is my mother.

Shake: Yep.

Meatwad: Okay…who's my father?

Shake: GET OUT OF HERE DAMN IT!

(Cut outside the house as Meatwad is thrown out the window and bounces off to the road.)

Schoolly D: (V.O) Damn Shake, why do you always have to be so hard on Meatwad?

(Cut to the Carl's house as Frylock hovers to the front door holding a packet of pizza pies and starts knocking as Carl opens the door.)

Carl: What…..the…….Hell…..Fryman?

Frylock: Well I got these pizza pies, I thought you could you know taste it to see if it's good enough to submit into the competition…

Carl: No friggin' way.

Frylock: Well, I thought…

Carl: No way I'm eating something that was made by YOU. It could be ridden disease or spiked with poison or roofie pill or whatever.

Frylock: Well don't worry, it's completely fine.

Carl: Right, I've fell for that before. If I want pizza, I'll order some.

(Carl slams the door. Cut to the kitchen of the Aqua Teen house as Shake paces back and forth. The oven then dings.)

Shake: Breakfast is ready.

(Meatwad slides quickly through the front door to the kitchen.)

Meatwad: Oh boy, breakfast!

Shake: I thought I told you I wasn't going to feed you.

Meatwad: I'll call child services if you deprive me of food.

Shake: Okay, okay……no need to throw the child services into this, remember what happened last time you called child services.

Meatwad: Nuh uh, I have amnesia. Because of you…

Shake: Fine, you can have one "kick ass" food stick.

(Shake throws a plate with a melted-and-fused baseball bat, grass, oatmeal, pizza crusts and car oil on the table as Meatwad stares at it.)

Meatwad: This looks kinda funky.

Shake: You want food or not!

Meatwad: Yes Master Shake.

Shake: Good.

(Shake grabs plate with nine "kick ass" food sticks and sits on the table and begins gobbling it up as Meatwad only has one bite.)

Meatwad: How could you eat that?

Shake: (with mouth full) How could you not shut up?

(Meatwad slowly eats it as Shake hops up from his chair.)

Shake: THAT WAS THE A-BOMB!

Meatwad: You think?

Shake: Yes, I am a great cook if I say so myself.

Meatwad: Nuh uh, you bad as Hell boy.

Shake: Shut up.

Meatwad: No, you shut up.

Shake: Well, I'm going to enter that food competition thing at the mall and kick Frylock's ass!

(Silence.)

Meatwad: What ass?

Shake: I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP!

(Silence.)

Meatwad: So you're gonna enter that bake-off.

(Silence.)

Meatwad: Well, (sighs) Good luck with that.

(Meatwad hops off and slides off as Frylock opens the door and heads into the kitchen.)

Shake: Oh look it's "Mr. I Win Every Year at the Mall Bake-Off", well baby prepare to change your name to "Mr. I Win Every Year at the Mall Bake-Off Except that One Time Shake Totally Kicked My Ass".

Frylock: What are you talking about?

Shake: You know what I am talking about!

Frylock: No……..I don't.

Shake: I'm talking about the Food Bake-Off at the Powerpuff Mall this Saturday, I'm going to enter it and totally turn you from a winner to a loser. Well you are always a loser…

Frylock: Oh so I see, you're doing this because I didn't make you breakfast?

Shake: No, I rule at cooking.

Frylock: How would you know, you've never cooked in your life.

Shake: Yes, I never cooked in my life, UP to this point where I made myself and Meatwad breakfast.

Frylock: Really………..did, Meatwad like it?

Shake: He loved it.

(Meatwad rolls in holding his "stomach".)

Meatwad: I'm sick aggh…

(Meatwad starts vomiting.)

Shake: You see, Meatwad loved it. From the horse's mouth.

(Frylock hovers over to Meatwad's side.)

Frylock: Shake, he seems sick.

Shake: Of course his sick! Sick of looking at your loser face that's totally a loser that's gonna lose on Saturday the Food Bake-Off, loser.

(Shake hobbles off.)

Frylock: OH NO YOU DON'T! BECAUSE ON THE SATURDAY, I'LL BE THE WINNER WHILE YOU'LL LOSE, YOU LOSING LOSER!

(Shake slams the door in the background.)

Meatwad: Aw, dude.

Frylock: What did he put in the food Meatwad?

Meatwad: He put my father in there.

Frylock: Your father?

Meatwad: Yeah my baseball bat father?

Frylock: You're what? Baseball bat father?

Meatwad: Yeah, my father a baseball bat boy, now how can a baseball bat reproduce? That's just crazy!

Frylock: Wow.

(Silence.)

Frylock: So Shake put the baseball bat in the breakfast?

Meatwad: That was my father.

Frylock: Wow……

Meatwad: Yeah, he crazy as hell.

Frylock: No, I mean…….you don't have a father.

(Silence, Meatwad starts crying.)

Frylock: No, I mean….I mean, he could be out there somewhere.

(Meatwad stops crying.)

Shake: (V.O) HE MEANS HIS SOMEWHERE IN THE LAND OF "NEVER EXISTED"!

(Silence, Meatwad looks around.)

Meatwad: Wow, I'm confused. I'm…….going to my room.

(Meatwad slides off. Cut to Frylock making his pizza pies in his room when Meatwad rolls in.)

Frylock: Yeah, Meatwad….how are you going, you stop throwing up?

Meatwad: Yeah…..but I'm moving out.

Frylock: Moving out……..why?

Meatwad: Being roommates never worked out I'm moving in with a friend.

Frylock: Friend……what friend?

(Silence.)

Meatwad: Okay, maybe I'm not moving out.

Frylock: Then why did you say you were?

Meatwad: Because Shake said if I don't move out, his gonna poison the food so I die.

Frylock: Why would he say that?

Meatwad: Because he said you couldn't do anything about it, just like you can't do anything about losing on Saturday.

Frylock: That prick!

(Frylock hovers out.)

Meatwad: (laughing) It's my room now!

(Meatwad rolls on top of the bed and jumps up and down. Cut to the kitchen as Shake is making his "kick-ass" food sticks when Frylock hovers in.)

Frylock: Hey Shake…

Shake: What is it, Future Loser McLoser Loserly you friggin' loser!

Frylock: I will win on Saturday when I do you I'll rub those pizza pies in your face!

Shake: (sarcastic) Rubbing food in my face, nice threat Frylock.

Frylock: Well at least I don't always say you're a loser and never saying anything else……..but I'm a loser.

Shake: You admitted it!

Frylock: I was just saying!...

Shake: That you are a loser, I know!

(Frylock hovers out of the kitchen.)

Frylock: Shut up.

Shake:(sarcastic) Oh! Nice one Frylock! "Shut up", like that isn't a cliché. "Shut up", the most overused insult, real original Frylock! At least when I say things it ain't things like "shut up", so shut up Fry-LOCK!

(Meatwad rolls in the kitchen.)

Meatwad: Who you talking about boy?

Shake: Definitely not you!

Meatwad: You do know what Frylock, said……right….right?

Shake: No, and frankly I don't care.

Meatwad: He said you're ugly.

Shake: I'M WHAT!

Meatwad: And when he wins on Saturday and rubs the pizza pies on your face, his gonna knock you out, get you in surgery and surgically attack them on your face so it'll be there forever and you'll be even uglier.

Shake: THIS MEANS WAR!

(Shake hobbles out to the lounge and jumps out the window and lands on the lawn.)

Shake: You and me Frylock, gonna duke it out on Saturday, and I shall be declared the winner!

(Cut back to the kitchen.)

Meatwad: Damn…..he really means it.

(Meatwad grabs a pennant that reads "Meatwad Land" and puts it on the country floor.)

Meatwad: I declare this Meatwad Land.

Frylock: (V.O) WHO DECLARED MY ROOM "ACTION FRANK COUNTY"!

Schoolly D: (V.O) Damn Meatwad, now why did you go that…..?

(Cut to the shot of the house, the sun going down and the moon going up, the moon going down and the sun going up and the sun going down and the moon going up.)

Schoolly D: (V.O) Well it don't matter, because we're focusing on Saturday.

(Cut to Carl's room as his on his cellphone.)

Carl: Okay, yeah…..yeah…..okay I want that pizza. Deliver it in thirty minutes.

(Frylock barges in.)

Carl: HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE!

Frylock: Last chance for pizza pies.

Carl: No, I'm getting real pizza made by people that are not you.

Frylock: Okay, because me and Shake are going to the Food Bake-Off in 5 minutes.

Carl: Oh that one down the mall, I heard Pee Wee Herman's going to do a special on that.

Frylock: No his not.

Carl: Yeah, well whatever……..hope you and Shake lose.

(Frylock hovers out.)

Carl: Freaks.

(Cut to an outside shot of the Powerpuff Mall. Cut inside as a kitchen panel spreads itself out in the middle of the mall as a man walks up to a podium.)

Man at Podium: Welcome to the Powerpuff Mall, today it's our annual Food Bake-Off. Today's competitors are Frylock; he has won four years in a row.

Shake: (in own kitchen panel) FRY IN HELL FRYLOCK!

Man at Podium: And our new competitor this year, Master Shake. Another food product. What a gimmick.

(Cut to Meatwad watching it on TV.)

Meatwad: Damn, even I think they should both lose.

(Silence.)

Meatwad: I'm gonna turn on the wrestling.

(Cut back to the Food Bake-Off.)

Man at Podium: Also we have Dr. Weird and Steve…..working separately this year. Wait…… (cut to a shot of an empty kitchen panel) Where's Dr. Weird?

(Cut to Steve's panel with a mini-green monster with a mini-Dr. Weird inside him.)

Steve: I don't know.

(Cut back to the Man at the Podium.)

Man at Podium: Also guest judge, Pee Wee Herman via satellite.

(Cut to a live action Paul Reubens on the TV.)

Paul: Hello everyone!

(Cut back to the Man in the Podium.)

Man at the Podium: Now to the cooking!

Shake: Oh yeah, this is where I really shine!

(Shake grabs out a gasoline tank. Cut outside the Powerpuff Mall as it explodes. Cut back to the Aqua Teen house as Frylock and Shake walks past it.)

Frylock: Wow, we both lost.

Shake: No you lost, I won.

Frylock: Well, we would've known who the winner was if you didn't pull that gasoline tank and make the whole mall explode!

Shake: C'mon, how was I supposed to know there was a lit match there!

(Cut to Carl eating pizza on his lawn.)

Carl: Hey Frylock! See I told you! Real pizza near hurt anyone and…

(Carl's head explodes after he swallows a piece as Meatwad slides out of Carl's front door.)

Meatwad: He dead?

Frylock: Yep.

Meatwad: Damn…..well that just means I declare this Dewey and Vanessa Town, another colony in my country?

Shake: What country?

Meatwad: The country with only one rule: "follow my rules or your ass is going to get kicked"!

(End credits.)


End file.
